I don’t clearly recall the words or the artist for that matter. But it’s a song whose murmurs have resonated deep within my conscience in times of crisis. In times that require survival. Only the chorus which preeminates from nothing has managed to resound over the years, like the sweet laughter of a child. The words?
I need you to survive.
Only through becoming familiar with life and the passage of time have those words metamorphosised from being just another chorus of a gospel song to a personal experience.
I need you to survive.
There are seasons in life where we are so frustrated by apparent stagnation, were we are conflicted between where we want to be in life and where we currently are. Sometimes it seems you aren’t doing enough, it seems you’re just living for survival without the merest hint of progress. You want more, you need more, you have dreams and ambitions but you are so tangled up in the daily trivialities of trying to survive.
If not the physical circumstances, the internal battle will have you falling into a depressive state. You lay awake at night unable to find peace and sleep, sometimes, or rather most times in tears asking yourself where you have gone wrong.
At times you might, like Job, bring God before the grand jury that is the mess you call your life and question His integrity. I mean …Lord you promised that if I keep my mind on you you’d keep me in perfect peace, that with a sincere heart if I call upon your name you’d never turn away from me… Then what is this? You’ve given, you’ve prayed, you’ve tried to be a good person. Are you being punished by reason of your existence? Why?
I mean do you ever feel that way?
I know I do.
I can go into all the morbid details and you can customize it to your own unique experience. But one thing stands true. Life can be hard. It can fall short of our expectations. And no matter how hard you try to evade them, tough times are an integral part of life.
I’m not here to tell you what purpose they serve. I’m no sage. But I can tell you one thing, God is there with you no matter what and if you can just get through those difficult seasons you’ll enter into seasons of light and elevation. Just hang on. I know it’s tough, I know you want to quit, so do I. But just hold on.
God needs you to, I need you to… Survive.
Valerie Tendai Chatindo is a biochemist, entrepreneur and writer. She has been published in Enthuse Mag, Hallelujah Mag and in the Kahalari Review. Follow her at tendy_vchatndo
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