Have you ever felt like an island, as if your experience is such of peculiar nature that you can barely relate to any believers around you? Whenever you step into the house of the Lord, you just feel out of place. As if no one could possibly understand what you going through. You utterly feel like the odd one out and the circumstances you find yourself or the sin-struggles that haunt you every day are out of this world.
In the first early days of my accepting of Christ, I remember feeling like this. Each conversation I believed that my experience is outstretched and felt that my trials and tribulations were so abnormal that other believers could not empathize. I felt like the black sheep of the family, felt short and unworthy of his glory. Such feelings extended beyond this particular arrogance and messed up my faith.
Since the outset of my faith journey, I have felt short and constantly wrested myself with intense doubt. Sometimes I doubted the existence of God, other times, the goodness of God, most of the time if I am worthy the promise in the God’s Word. There have been short-lived moments in which I possessed and gained confidence in God’s righteousness and truthfulness.
Whenever trouble fell on my door stoop, which am more often I struggled to be live on one of these fronts. Even when other believers expressed similar battles in their thought lives, I was convinced their battles were not as vicious as mine were. This perspective birthed rotten fruits in my early walk with Christ; I grew more resentful and lost my way before even knowing the grace of God. I became self -consumed and distanced myself form God and exercised little love towards other believers ‘the highly favored’ as I called them.
I never saw hope of shifting my life but I forever praise Him for shattering this faulty way of thinking in my life. It was not an instantaneous change. Through the graces of devotion, discipleship and well time spent in the Scriptures, I was able to see that enduring trials and temptations is a universal experience among Christians. Definitely, it was not unique to me.
In closing James 4:7-8 says, “Submit yourselves, then to God, Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Come near to God and he will come near to you”